I wanted to go to Borneo as part of my trip through Malaysia specifically to visit the diving island of Sipadan. Sipadan is not cheap but I figured if I could cut costs elsewhere, such as skipping meals, I could afford the US$160 for one night there. I couldn't get this close geographically and miss out. Having justified this to myself, I was off.
My first mission was to get to Semporna, launch point for the boats to Sipadan. I took a taxi from Kota Kinabalu. This is a ride to remember for all the right reasons. The scenery is magnificent, through forest and river valley, climbing above clouds and ear-popping plunges. The second half was quite boring as all we saw were plantations. Still, I cannot understand how anyone would want to fly over that sort of scenery. The trip is worth it just for what you see outside the window.
My ride got me as far as Tawau, about 60 km from Semporna, and at 10 at night I wasn't about to get much further. Another taxi driver offered to take me but only at a price which would single-handedly have raised the per capita income of the whole nation! Instead I asked the driver if he knew a nice, cheap place to stay. That is a well-nigh impossible combination to find; you usually get one or the other and this place had chosen one - it was cheap.
I walked up the stairs of the Medina Lodging House and was met with a disbelieving gawk from the owner. After all I was an unshaven, long-haired westerner, all 55 kg of me with a huge bag on my back. Other people even came out of their rooms to look at me! I asked for a room, in English and was met with blank stares. I had learned how to say "One person, one room, one night - how much?" in Malay. The manager's face lit up as if to say: "Scruffy foreigner speaks Malay!!!" and replied. Trouble. I didn't understand any more than I had said to him. My turn to stare blankly. Eventually one helpful tenant said "Fifteen, fifteen." I offered 15 Ringgit (about US$4) which was right. The manager started filling in the register and pointed to the "Nationality" slot. I said South African, he said "England". I said "South Africa" and he said "America". I wanted to write it in, he wouldn't surrender the pen. I said "Nelson Mandela? Same same." No help. I dug out my passport and waited while he painstakingly wrote "Afrika". Finally I was shown to my room. It was a room, that's all I can say for it.
I had to use some hastily invented sign language to find the showers. I turned on the light and waited for the floor to appear. This had nothing to do with the light being slow to warm up but rather due to literally hundreds of cockroaches scattering. "No shower for you tonight, Shane." I went back to my room, took my bottle of water, cleaned my teeth over the bin and decided to go to sleep. Early transport tomorrow. I turned on the fan. The fan had two settings - hurricane and off. I didn't lie down on the bed as much as I was pinned down by the blast. The mattress wasn't worth much either. The wooden frame would probably have been more comfortable. If anyone tells you one inch is better than nothing, they are not talking about mattresses.
The next morning thankfully arrived and I left at about 5:30 am, but not before having to wake someone up to let me out. More disbelieving looks as I walked to the bus station. I wondered if I was the first foreigner in decades to visit Tawau. The 6 am bus I wanted never turned up, and I was forced into the grabbing hands of taxi drivers again. This one quoted me one price at the start of the trip and a higher one at the end. It was only 10 Ringgit, so I paid it. I was just glad to be where I had to be before my boat left.
Sipadan was great. Accommodations did not really offer value for money but the diving and food and sunset (all included) made up for it. Not even an eye infection could ruin a fantastic time underwater. With my one night's stay over I took the launch back to Semporna.
Once again I had to find somewhere to sleep, so I asked the woman in the resort's office about places to stay in Semporna. She recommended Scotty's Long House and one other place. Scotty's was closer so I went there first. I asked how much rooms were, and got an answer in perfect English: 15 Ringgit. Having learned from Tawau, and having more daylight in hand, I asked if I could see the room first. Up the stairs we went. I couldn't believe it - a bright, clean room, with two comfortable, clean single beds, little sachets of shampoo, a fan, hot showers and a seating area with a fridge to keep your water cold. Plus a big sliding window giving you a marvellous view of the harbour. Paradise. I could live here. I wanted to. "This is 15 Ringgit???" I asked in disbelief. She said "Yes" like she was stealing from me. They were stealing from themselves. I rushed to hand my money to her and flopped down onto the bed. After my first decent shower in a good few days I went down to the restaurant for a good fish dinner. It didn't cost me a whole lot either. I'd love to have stayed longer, but once again it was early transport and the ride through the forest, river valley, and clouds back to Kota Kinabalu. I watched the sun rise over the harbour and felt good in myself that there are still places which are good and cheap.
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